I have some notes to make on my (fiction) writing process, so let’s document it.
I’m currently working on my first short story collection. I’m working on revisions (polishing). I’ll get back to how i came to this stage but first let me tell you how it all started.
This is a story about professional storytelling and money. Yes money.
I started to put the short stories in this collection together when i was still in a really weird place financially, just figuring things out. My lack of money did not affect my stories or how i told them, but it definitely affected how urgently i wanted to have the collection published.
Anyway, it took about a year and half or just a year, i’m not exactly sure anymore, to put the stories together—to choose which stories i wanted to tell, how many of them it would be, and to actually pour all the story ideas out on digital paper. By the time i was done with writing the stories, i was eager to find a way to sell the book or at least have it published in one way or another. Of course i was still in weird place financially, not as bad as the beginning but weirder in some aspects.
This eagerness to start making money as a professional storyteller was strong and distracting enough for me to start submitting the very rough draft of my manuscript to publishing houses. Yes. I started submitting my first rough draft without taking the time to properly revisit what i had written. This was my first sign to myself later on that i am a rookie at this game. I was impatient. I did not care enough to pause even when the discomfort of not doing thorough work on this collection had set in for me. I wanted things to move fast. The only thing that could change my mind about this foolishness, my foolishness, was money.
Yes money. I figured this bit out about money down the line. You see i've always had other things going on besides this fiction writing thing, so things started becoming less weird with my finances and i started to detest the idea that i was in a hurry to get my book out more and more. The more comfortable i got financially, the less the idea of a book acquisition (before i was ready) appealed to me. To even my surprise i actually got a couple of positive responses to the sample of manuscript, but the full thing never went through because it just wasn't good enough. Everyone that showed interested knew it, especially me.
I finally decided to take an independent route with publishing the collection and my editors feedback after reading the rough draft confirmed everything i already knew. There was no escape. There was more work to do.
I said earlier that this is a story about professional storytelling and money. My definition of a professional storyteller in this context is simple—someone who gets paid to tell stories. My definition of money is also simple—having a very stable means to pay my bills indefinitely. I wanted very badly to start getting paid (on my own terms) to tell stories, and for those stories to become a source of income indefinitely for me. So i got distracted and abandoned my values around how i like to write and script things. I let my sacred writing process become a play thing.
Money brings clarity. Having more than enough to get through each month definitely makes my survival instinct less aggressive, and less willing to bypass set values. Whether or not that's a good thing in general i do not know. What i do know is that a less aggressive instinct to survive is good for me. I make better clearer decisions when things are that way.
So now, two years or much longer down the line, i'm taking my time with revising the selected stories for this collection. I'm sticking to the rigorous process of polishing i've outlined, to give this collection my best in this moment. I'm sure my editor will still have a lot of work to do. I'm still a rookie at this game after all.
There's one more thing. I'm still at a place in my journey where i dread this very stage of writing stories so much. The part where i have to revise, restructure and possibly rewrite my stories. This stage where talent is not enough, i have to apply skill. A part of me would just rather look away than do the work, but i know the only reason why that feeling is there for me is because i'm lacking in the skill i need to do the work. I can admit that. I'm definitely lacking in the skill it takes to get through this stage with a certain ease. But that skill only comes with practice, so practice i must!
My prediction however is that down the line this same stage will become as pleasurable for me as telling the stories is, because i would have developed the necessary skill and mastery it takes to actually enjoy this part of my process.
So let's continue to write and see. I'll tell you all about it god willing!
11th February 2025—nightime.
