Dear Nikki

10th December 2024

You have brought me out of my writing spell. You know the one, the kind of writing where we lay our hearts bear for others to see. Only you can do that for me—break me out of long spells of poetic silence—remind me to write poetry, to read peotry, to publish poetry; to realize my thoughts. To be responsible and assume intelligence. Nikki. You left a day after my life changed. The day after my life shifted. What do i do now with this new life you have given me?

I must write more poetry now Nikki, for you. I must publish all of these books of poetry now Nikki, for me. I must be who I know how to be Nikki, for us. I must live my life fully, to the best of my abilities, i must continue to speak my heart; continue to make art. If only you could see, if only you could see who I am become now, because of you. Nikki. Come, see who I am becoming. I know you would be proud.

“I may be gone but I’m right there with you.” You said that to me this evening. You are here. Now you are everywhere. In the sky for all of us to see as you intended, hear me say “there goes Nikki!”, there you go, Nikki.

Because you lived, i will keep on. Nikki, keep on living.