182

The Memories Of The Childhood That Haunts Me From My First Death

I have a memory from when I was a child

I let the new dog lay on my lap while we sat on the floor

patting its back ever so gently

my cousin walked past us asking if I was alright

she must have thought of how much my audacity

to be so strange at such a young age would cost me

especially given that I was still

a part of a family where kids were not held with tenderness

not to talk of dogs which were simply security purchases

she must have thought of me as an outcast

even then they must have all known

such a child would never live long enough to grow old as a member of this family.